Lost at the Finish Line

 

The end of the year is creeping up on us and wow, what a year. Back around June, I did a goal inventory and haven’t looked back since…until today.

2017 Race-Related Goals:

  • Mile – I wanted to break 6 minutes and clock a 5:45. In May 2017, I ran 5:21. CHECK!
  • 5K – Breaking 20 was my goal for this year. Added in speed work as I had planned and ran sub 19 in May. CHECK!
  • Half Marathon – 2017 goal was to break 1:40. Shamrock Half was very kind to me in March – 1:29. CHECK!
  • Marathon – I mentioned I wanted to simply beat my 2016 time of 3:46 and possibly BQ. CHECK! 3:25 AND a BQ!
  • Ultra – The thought was a maybe. Now it’s just a few days away…

Other 2017 Goals:

  • Train my husband for his first half: CHECK! He also did a 2nd which I helped pace him for a sub 2 hour finish.
  • Find more opportunities in the fitness/running industry – started working full-time in fitness once again. CHECK!
  • Personal Trainer Certification. CHECK!
  • Coaching Certification. CHECK!

Which leads me to….

Fellow runners and readers, you may understand or you really may think I am crazy.

Do you ever feel a little lost once you complete a task? You’ve worked so hard for an extended period of time, focused on doing whatever it takes to be a success, and finally crossed the finish line. You are ecstatic. Yet, soon after, you are looking for a new challenge.

That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. Just a couple days out before the 50 miles and I’m already thinking, what’s next? Where do I go from here? Do I want to run longer? Go faster? Try something new? I have been so focused on checking off the boxes and not looking ahead for the next carrot.

Fresh red carrot hanging on white background

Chasing goals is exciting; keeps me dreaming and raising the bar. The line we cross when we tackle a goal is not the finish, but a new starting line.

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What do I want to try to do? Honestly, I am unsure right now.

I’m not too worried; after all, I have 50 miles to think about the possibilities. 🙂

I do have a goal formulating in my mind, but I’m not quite ready to share yet. Stay tuned….

Tell me: Have you reached your 2017 goals? Set any new goals for 2018?

Frozen by Fear

Each week, someone will chat with me about goals they’d like to achieve whether related to weight loss, running/fitness, career or personal goals. Many times, I can sense a hesitancy; something holding them back from proceeding with 100% effort. The end result they are looking to achieve would definitely make them happier, more fulfilled; yet fully committing to the journey creates an uncomfortable feeling….fear.

Fear of change. Fear of feeling like a disappointment. Fear of failing. Fear of the unknown.

Fear can be found creeping in every area of our lives – careers, families, relationships, extracurricular activities, our health, attitudes towards ourselves and others, etc. Sometimes due to our fears, we become slaves to habits, patterns and actions which do not serve us and may actually hurt us.

The fuzzy gray zone of the unknown stops many people in their tracks – should I stay in the less than ideal, somewhat comfortable area I know so well? Or should I push my boundaries, struggle a bit, be uncomfortable to hopefully reap big rewards?

There are no guarantees. We can plan our hearts out, work hard every day, do everything we can to succeed and still, we can end up with a different result than we anticipated.

Is your fear stopping you from living your life to its full potential? One day will you look back and think, “What might have I achieved if I didn’t let fear get in the way?”

What can you do? Feel the fear and do it any way. Yes, you will have to decide whether the struggle will be worth the possible prize waiting for you on the other side of fear.

Whether or not we believe we are in control of our destiny, we are certainly in control of our choices. Don’t let fear paralyze your actions. After all, YOLO!

How does this relate to me right now? I definitely have fear approaching this 50 miler. Yes, racing is not life-altering, but it’s the current fear I am experiencing. I have trained and trained for months. Run hundreds of miles, made a plan, studied the course and yet, I may fail. Running 50 miles is going to hurt. My brain is going to fight me; want me to give up. I fear giving in. I fear feeling extreme discomfort.

Outside of the upcoming race, I also have fear of returning to the old me. I feel I need to keep moving forward; always looking for the next goal to stay focused. I fear injury and needing recovery time. I fear letting others down. Like you, I have many fears. Some I am attacking full speed and others I am still tip toeing around; dipping my little toe in the dark, unchartered waters. If I don’t try, how will I know what is possible?

Once again, I encourage you to do what makes you happy – whatever that is. If needed, take a step back to see the big picture. Maybe write down goals you’d like to accomplish – where do you want to see yourself a year from now? 5 years from now? How can you get there? Who can help you?

Whatever the goal is, I want you to buckle up, brace yourself and take the first step. Don’t let fear decide your future or kill your dreams. Remember, fear is only temporary – regret is forever.  Be brave heading towards the unknown. You may reach the other side and be surprised by what awaits you.

And if you fail, at least you tried – you probably learned something about yourself along the way. Go try again.

 

Dare to Jump

“It is not failure itself that holds you back; it is the fear of failure that paralyzes you.” – Brian Tracy

Some days blog topics come easy, and some days I feel like I’m searching and searching for something to write about. Most of the time, the answer is right there in front of me based on an experience I am either going through or preparing for.

Later this week, I am going to attempt my first official speaking engagement, or rather share my story publicly which sounds way much less intimidating.

I absolutely DREAD standing in front of a crowd and speaking. The thought of doing this is probably just as bad as a fear of the dentist, or nails on a chalkboard.

Yes, that bad.

The thought of being in front of a gathering of people, all eyes on me, is paralyzing.

I worry about what I say, what people are thinking, wishing I was funnier, wishing I could crawl under a table and hide. Fear of judgement. Fear of failure. Fear of passing out.

I’m surprised I haven’t had the cliche dream about imagining I’m in front of an audience and I am only in my underwear….there’s still time.

Yes, I realize I teach group fitness classes and coach a kids running club, but that’s different. Once I’m moving, I get in the zone and my mind just flows better. Hmm, maybe I’ll do jumping jacks while I tell my story.

Back to this heart-pounding experience I am preparing myself for.

A wise man told me recently to be successful, I need to share myself with others. Go out and tell my story to anyone who would listen.

So, in a few days, I am going to put on my big girl panties and just do it. Tell a group about my weight loss and return to running journey. I don’t plan on writing out what I plan to say; just a basic outline. I want to speak from the heart and hopefully something I will say will inspire someone.

Do you share my fear of public speaking? Are you afraid of change? Do you fear being uncomfortable? Maybe you want to start working out but you fear stepping into the gym for the first time? Perhaps you have an idea for a business but you fear the jump.

I will tell you there is beauty in taking the road unknown. Every time we push ourselves into an area we fear, we have a great opportunity to learn about ourselves. Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable is important for personal development.

As I prepared for this post, I came across this article from Forbes: Why Feeling Uncomfortable Is The Key To Success.

An excerpt: “…when you go out of your way to experience new things, or when you let new things happen to you, your body creates brand new neural pathways that fuel your creative spark and enhance your memory”.

The article goes on to explain how we should embrace the uncomfortable. “Putting yourself in new and unfamiliar situations triggers a unique part of the brain that releases dopamine, nature’s make-you-happy chemical.” How about that!? Our fear may actually make us happy!

I challenge you to take a step outside your comfort zone into the fear zone with me. Make a plan and let’s dip our toes into the unknown ocean together.

Let’s give ourselves a chance to grow.

Remember, you are only confined by the walls you build yourself.

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And no… I am not telling you when and where this will speaking engagement will be. Maybe after I get this first one in the bag, another “Story Time with Becky” will come to your town soon 😉

Book Review: How Bad Do You Want It?

“You can keep going and your legs might hurt for a week, or you can quit and your mind will hurt for a lifetime.” — Mark Allen

A few months ago, I discussed the mental battle many of us feel when running whether you are a beginner or an experienced runner. A friend read my post and mentioned I should read How Bad Do You Want It? by Matt Fitzgerald. 9781937715410

So, during a cold winter weekend, I downloaded a copy and curled up on the couch to gather some knowledge about the mental game. I knew this book would speak to me, but I wasn’t prepared for the negative emotional effect.

I’ll admit the beginning of the book was tough for me to read. To be brutally honest, I was pissed off. Sometimes reading the truth and admitting previous self defeat really sucks.

In college, I felt like that athlete who “pulled up lame”. I was tired. I had lost interest. My passion for running was at a low. I’ll confess I claimed a fake injury once or twice during a race when I couldn’t hang. So many life changes had occurred when I was in college and some days I felt I was just a lost ship at sea. Or maybe I just stopped trying.

For years, my goal was to use my running talent to earn a college scholarship. Looking back, once I achieved this major feat, I don’t recall setting a new goal. No goal to win the 800m at ACCs or qualify for NCAAs. Did I stop dreaming? Was I just happy to settle and have college athletics be my final destination? Unsure.

I’ve strayed – back to the story.

This book is a collection of stories about athletes who share their experiences; their battles and the coping mechanisms they have used to conquer the beast within themselves. I especially enjoyed reading about a runner named Jenny and her disaster of a race at 2009 NCAA Cross Country Championships. Later, you find out her married name – Jenny Simpson – who was just in the most recent Olympics.

Upon finishing this particular chapter, I thought, “thank goodness”. I am not the only one. This fierce battle between mind and matter even happens to the best of the best.
Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone into the area where running is HARD is difficult for everyone. During a typical 5K, you have at least 3,000 steps to conjure up many thoughts – good or bad. And the bad tends to scream much louder than the good.

Since finishing the book, I have utilized a couple key tips while racing.

Embrace the hurt. Accept the fact that some of your run/race may be tough.

One of our local 5ks ends with a windy, gradual uphill about a half mile long. During the race, I knew it would be in front of me soon. I told myself, accept the challenge; yes – it will hurt. But you WILL run the hill and you will be finished soon. Fitzgerald mentions bracing yourself for a tough race or workout can boost performance by 15% or more.

Preparing yourself for the inevitable helps.

Also, reading and being reminded your brain is going to try to quit before your body is ready to give up. Studies show although you mentally feel you cannot take another step, your muscles are not at maximum effort yet. Mind over matter or matter over mind??

I encourage you to read this book if you’ve ever engaged in this mental war while running. You can admit you do – it’s more common than you think.

Whether you are an elite runner or a recreational jogger, I’m sure your mind has tried to make you quit before your body was ready. Arm yourself with a few coping tools and next time, you’ll be prepared to power through!

Now years later, my passion has been reignited and I’m back to racing. I feel as though I’ve been given a second chance to give it my all.

From here on out, and especially when I toe the line chasing that BQ, I will I ask myself, “How bad do you want it?”.

The answer?

Bad…very, very bad.

Forged by Fire

One day I woke up and decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. So I changed. Just like that.

Sounds easier said than done, right?

I was tired of feeling tired all of the time. Tired of saying, “I’d like to”s.

I’d like to run again.

I’d like to lose weight.

I’d like to look fit.

It only takes a spark to get a fire going.

My runaissance has not had any boundaries; no finish line. Surrounded by those who inspire me on a daily basis, my spark has turned back into a raging fire. For years, my drive to succeed and be healthy sometimes felt more like a pile of smoldering ashes.

I’m not getting any younger. The days of becoming an elite runner may be behind me. Will this stop me? Probably not.

Some ask why? Why are you so competitive? Why not just run?

I reply, why not?

Why not show my children it’s never too late to try?

Why not see how far I can go?

Why not give it one last hurrah?

Recently, I watched the video below (by the way, this YouTube channel is amazing; you may become addicted to their vids). Check this out:

Wow, mind blown.

As mentioned, this message reminded me I may not even have scratched the surface yet of what I CAN do. I am willing to put in the work, even if it means waking up at 4 a.m. and working long days.

I am willing to risk failure in hopes of succeeding. I am willing to throw out lofty (but attainable) goals.

From the beginning of my return to running, my focus has not been trying to beat others. You may have seen me say I am chasing the old me. She was pretty fast and this may seem unattainable, but you can bet I am trying my hardest to catch her. Most of the time when I finish a race, a voice whispers, “maybe you can go a little faster.”  Runner problems.

And I don’t feel this way just about running – this applies in my work life as well. Returning to the fitness industry has revitalized a passion for helping others. Sharing my story – the peaks and the valleys – has allowed me have the opportunity to encourage and guide others on their own journey. I love this. My mind is full of possibilities and dreams of where this can lead.

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My soul is on fire.

Every morning when I wake up, I know there is someone else doing the same and possibly wanting the same success as I do; maybe even more. If I am not committed (some mistakenly call this obsessed) with getting better and doing more than everyone else, I may be left behind.

I hear footsteps every day.

Why someday? Why not today? I do not want to be left behind.

I feel forged by fire – stick around and see where my journey goes…

 

Silencing the inner critic…

Try to find the joy wherever you are in your journey.

 

“Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.” – Drake

 

As far back as I can remember, I have always been competitive; some may think to a fault. Whatever the activity – from coloring contests to board games to bowling and to running – competition lights a fire within me and I can’t help but to try my best and try to outdo others.

I hate to lose.

I won’t lie; I am hard on myself. However, I feel if I am going to spend time doing something – whether a hobby or a vocation – I am going to give 100% effort to be the best I can be. But, I try to also enjoy the process and not just solely focus on the end goal.

On November 12th, I am running my first full marathon. Marathon training is not an easy or quick affair. Saturday mornings are spent waking at 4:30 a.m. and running for up to 3 hours straight. I am fortunate to have several motivational running partners to help the miles pass. Do I have a goal? Sure do. But, whatever happens on race day, I am still going to be so thankful for this journey – grateful for the new running friends I’ve made and for the reigniting of my passion for running.

Over the last year, I have had conversations with many of you or I’ve watched you from the sidelines. I’ve heard, “If I can’t be competitive in this race, I might as well not run” or “I’ve only lost 8 lbs. so far”. Sometimes I’ve even caught you saying, “I can’t ________ (fill-in-the-blank).”

During these conversations, I become a bit sad and I can’t help but ask myself, “WHY are we so hard on ourselves?” Why does it seem the failures or the mistakes take center stage over the small successes we have along the way?

You should feel accomplished, no matter if you’ve fully reached your goal. Try to find the joy wherever you are in your journey.

Today, I encourage you to do two things:

1. Live intentionally. When 2016 began and I was looking at the year ahead, these two words popped into my head. Be intentional. Whatever you are going to do, actively interact and engage. Make it count.

“When you get right down to it, intentional living is about living your best story.” ― John Maxwell

2. Celebrate small successes along the way. While it is important to create and focus on your long-term goals, be sure to set a few short-term goals. Run the race and don’t focus on time or placing. Remember, there are some people that are still contemplating on how to get to the starting line. Or, if you are on your long run for the week and are feeling terrible; but still finish anyway, celebrate. You still ran 20 miles! Losing weight and you only lost 5 lbs? That’s amazing!

Reaching your goals after pushing through obstacles makes that finish line so much sweeter.

So I ask of you – stop being so hard on yourself; silence your inner critic.

Find the positives and celebrate the small successes!

 

Until next time,

TRM